Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Random Shit

You know, I've been thinking, men and women aren't all that different, we can be a lot alike in certain situations. Like when we're both on fire, then we're exactly alike.

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My vision of what hell is really like: a bunch of StairMasters at the DMV with a continuous loop of karaoke-style music.

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Have you heard that old saying 'Want what you have'? Doesn't that only work if you already have what you want?

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Someone told me the other day that we should all eat like cavemen: protein and fats only, because there were no fat cavemen. Really? Then how do you explain Fred Flintstone?

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Something to ponder, if women outnumber men, then why is it still considered a 'man's world'?

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Just once, while stuck in an endless debate with someone, I'd love to say, "I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. And your fly is open."

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I hate doing laundry. I really, really hate doing laundry. Maybe it's because you have to separate all the colors. Perhaps one day, I'll just put them all in together and let them work out their cultural differences for themselves.

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What is it about the brains of women that have us thinking the following: we see a guy, think he's cute one minute, then the next minute, our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him fucking his secretary. By the time someone says, "I'd like you to meet Joe," we yell at him, "You're late with the child support again, dipshit!!"?

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Yeah, so I'm in my mid-30's and single. I'm really tired of people asking me when I'm going to get married. Isn't that like asking some 70 year-old when they're going to break a hip? "Hey, Grandma, why haven't you broken your hip yet? Everyone else your age has..."

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I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Katharine Hepburn: "If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great stuff. How come all your "random shit" makes so much sense and mine is just a bunch of crap? LOL.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Hoochie Mama said...

Your hell sounds about right.

I can deal with the laundry... it's the dishes that I hate!

That is the best quote ever! LOL!

Kate - Don't feel bad... I can't even do random shit! LOL!

9:27 AM  
Blogger Anisa said...

love this list! so funny!

9:51 AM  
Blogger Just Me said...

along those same lines of Ms. Heppy..."well behaved women rarely make history"

10:11 AM  
Blogger Marie said...

LOL! That's hilarious especially the being single in your mid-30's observation. ;) I love reading your random thoughts.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Robb said...

I am laughing my ass off.

I'll try to get your child support to you soon.

8:31 AM  

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