Booger Butt and Dodie
My nephew (Booger Butt) and niece (Dodie) are the funniest things in the world. Some of the stuff that comes out of their mouths just make me giggle.
The other day, my sister was talking to my nephew about the physical he had to take for football. He asked what a physical was and Kelly said the doctor will check you out to make sure it's okay for you to play football. He thought for a second and said "Will he test me for steroids?" Now this is funny on two levels: he's ten, fairly tall and very skinny (that child has the boniest ass, ever!). Second, he was dead serious. He called to tell me the story, and I told him that if they do find steriods in his system, he's been ripped off.
Dodie's birthday is in a few months; she'll be 9. When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, she said 'a new laptop.' I looked at her with the patented mom-of-kcterrilynn's single eyebrow raise that means "yeah, I don't think so." She said, well, maybe you and grandma could get it together. Again, the eyebrow answered for me. She narrowed her eyes, looked at me like I had taken the short bus to school and replied, "Aunt Terri, you just don't understand! You have a job! I don't." To which I replied "Um, no, Dodie, you don't understand: I have a job and you do not." She said, "That's what I said, so what's the difference?" I told her the difference is that makes it my decision on what to get her for her birthday, not hers, and it won't be a laptop. She still doesn't get it.
She came by her nickname because my nephew couldn't say her real name after she was born, and something resembling 'Dodie' came out (which is funny in itself, because her real name is no where near 'Dodie'), and she's been that ever since. Now, her given name is beautiful (if I do say so myself since I picked it out) but it's a done deal, she is Dodie to family now and forever. One day when she couldn't have been more than 4, we were in the grocery store and she was getting too far ahead of me, so I hollered "Dodie" at her and she stopped to wait for me to catch up. When I got to her, she put both hands on her hips, looked up at me and said "Aunt Tewwi, my name is L, not Dodie!" I squatted down to look her in the eyes and said "I know what your name is, Little Bit, I chose it, but I'll call you Dodie anytime I like. That's what family nicknames are for. Do you think I like it when everyone calls me PeeVee?" She wandered ahead muttering something to the effect of "I guess Dodie's not so bad, I could be Booger Butt." Atta girl, look on the bright side.
This is probably my favorite story invloving Booger Butt. He was maybe six years old and we were having a family dinner at my parents house. We were being loud, rowdy, and talkative like we get and I heard Booger Butt ask his mom what a period was. Our entire clan shut up immediately and looked at my sister. I was trying hard not to laugh, but wasn't doing a very good job. My sister couldn't have had a more panicked look on her face if she had tried. My dad asked him what he thought it was. BB replied that it's that dot at the end of a sentence. Kelly exhaled and shot my mom a look like "Phew, dodged that one." I kept looking at Booger Butt and he still looked confused. So I said, "Honey, do you have another question?" He said, "Well, I understand the period part, but what does that have to do with the big band-aid things they sell on TV?" I almost peed my pants. Eventually, the laughter subsided, but he never did get his answer.
Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.
The other day, my sister was talking to my nephew about the physical he had to take for football. He asked what a physical was and Kelly said the doctor will check you out to make sure it's okay for you to play football. He thought for a second and said "Will he test me for steroids?" Now this is funny on two levels: he's ten, fairly tall and very skinny (that child has the boniest ass, ever!). Second, he was dead serious. He called to tell me the story, and I told him that if they do find steriods in his system, he's been ripped off.
Dodie's birthday is in a few months; she'll be 9. When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, she said 'a new laptop.' I looked at her with the patented mom-of-kcterrilynn's single eyebrow raise that means "yeah, I don't think so." She said, well, maybe you and grandma could get it together. Again, the eyebrow answered for me. She narrowed her eyes, looked at me like I had taken the short bus to school and replied, "Aunt Terri, you just don't understand! You have a job! I don't." To which I replied "Um, no, Dodie, you don't understand: I have a job and you do not." She said, "That's what I said, so what's the difference?" I told her the difference is that makes it my decision on what to get her for her birthday, not hers, and it won't be a laptop. She still doesn't get it.
She came by her nickname because my nephew couldn't say her real name after she was born, and something resembling 'Dodie' came out (which is funny in itself, because her real name is no where near 'Dodie'), and she's been that ever since. Now, her given name is beautiful (if I do say so myself since I picked it out) but it's a done deal, she is Dodie to family now and forever. One day when she couldn't have been more than 4, we were in the grocery store and she was getting too far ahead of me, so I hollered "Dodie" at her and she stopped to wait for me to catch up. When I got to her, she put both hands on her hips, looked up at me and said "Aunt Tewwi, my name is L, not Dodie!" I squatted down to look her in the eyes and said "I know what your name is, Little Bit, I chose it, but I'll call you Dodie anytime I like. That's what family nicknames are for. Do you think I like it when everyone calls me PeeVee?" She wandered ahead muttering something to the effect of "I guess Dodie's not so bad, I could be Booger Butt." Atta girl, look on the bright side.
This is probably my favorite story invloving Booger Butt. He was maybe six years old and we were having a family dinner at my parents house. We were being loud, rowdy, and talkative like we get and I heard Booger Butt ask his mom what a period was. Our entire clan shut up immediately and looked at my sister. I was trying hard not to laugh, but wasn't doing a very good job. My sister couldn't have had a more panicked look on her face if she had tried. My dad asked him what he thought it was. BB replied that it's that dot at the end of a sentence. Kelly exhaled and shot my mom a look like "Phew, dodged that one." I kept looking at Booger Butt and he still looked confused. So I said, "Honey, do you have another question?" He said, "Well, I understand the period part, but what does that have to do with the big band-aid things they sell on TV?" I almost peed my pants. Eventually, the laughter subsided, but he never did get his answer.
Out of the mouths of babes, indeed.
posted by kcterrilynn at 8:24 AM
6 Comments:
haha! they sound hilarious. i can't believe kids are asking for laptops! sounded like you handled it perfectly.
I'd love to comment, but I'm still laughing too hard!!!
They are hilarious. The epitome of mental health. Gimme some, please.
I love kids and these two sound like a couple of riots. Cute story.
liza - I know! I don't even have a laptop and I'm OLD!
Patsy - Same with C. He'll be a 6'4" handsome young man who's crazy Aunt Terri calls him Booger Butt.
Anisa - The funniest thing about that conversation was the look on her face. She really thought I was the one who didn't get it!
Robb - (You are alive! I was starting to wonder if you lived through the weekend.) I'm sure you have plenty of kid stories from your own.
Monty - I know where their sense of humors come from; the mental health part, not so much. ;)
Kate - They are pure entertainment! See what you have to look forward to with your impending aunt-hood?
thanks for sharing a cute and very funny story!
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