Levels of Drunkeness

1. Sober, adj. Lacking in sense of humor.
2. Tipsy, adj. The usual signs are a flushed face, stupid grin, loud voice and a profound love for all mankind. The sufferer is incredibly deep, intelligent and insightful, but prone to giggles.
3. Plastered, adj. Extremely generous, loud and confident. Suffering from prolonged talkativeness and a belief that he/she can drink anyone under the table. Also may include bad dancing/singing.
4. Drunk, adj. Suffering from vision, hearing and speech impairment, with an insatiable appetite for pizza. Infatuated with anything and everyone. Possessing an illogical belief that he/she is gorgeous despite the obvious dribbling, slobbering and slurred speech.
5. Wasted, adj. Invincible but incapable. Suffering from extreme loss of balance, co-ordination and sex appeal. Liable to sleep anywhere. Likely to be found babbling incoherently to a coat rack, dog or beer bottle.
6. Hung-over, adj. Suffering from a near death-like state, often catatonic and always with a pounding headache. Unbalanced with no sign of a sense of humor. Needs total silence and another drink!

I plan on hitting more than one of these tonight at The Los Lonely Boys concert.

Happy Friday, everyone!