A conversation between two cats
Do you think my cats are judging me when they see me naked? I mean, Hefe races me to the bathroom each morning and then sits on the vanity while I get in the shower. I'm pretty sure he's tsk-tsking behind his whiskers. And then I'm sure he and Guiney are talking about me after I leave for work. Because let's face it, they've got nothing else to do all day but lick themselves, eat, and nap. I'm sure the monotony is broken up by a conversation that might go something like this:
Hefe: Did you catch the size of the human's thighs this morning?
Guiney: Good Lord, yes. She really shouldn't have had that piece of cheesecake before bedtime last night.
Hefe: You'd think by now that she'd realize that it goes straight to her ass.
Guiney: Exactly! But that's not the worst of it, don't you think she could remember to wash her face every night before she goes to bed? I mean, that's how crow's feet get their start! Besides, I'm getting really tired of looking at her mascara smeared face when she feeds us in the morning.
Hefe: That's nothing! How about on the weekends when she doesn't shower until the afternoon and then wants to get in our faces and tell us what cute kitties we are! It's like, "Whoa, lady, we'd like to introduce you to Lever 2000 and maybe a little Crest wouldn't be out of line...because your breath could kill a horse!"
Guiney: True! I hate it even more when she does that stupid thing she calls 'Yoda Kitty.' It was cute the first 5,000 times, but it's just old now. And don't even get me started on that damn Kitty Disco song she sings and makes you dance to. Although, you do have some moves...
Hefe: Ugh! I hate the Kitty Disco song!!
Guiney: Man, she's really weird. But then again, we do have it pretty sweet. I mean, other cats have to live outside!! And she lets us play with her notes when she's trying to study. Remember that one time you laid across that big notebook and she launched you two feet in the air?
Hefe: Heh, yeah! That was cool. I've got an idea, before we take a nap, let's track kitty litter all through the house and throw up hairballs on her new duvet cover, you know how much she loves that!!
Or it could be that I'm just paranoid.
Hefe: Did you catch the size of the human's thighs this morning?
Guiney: Good Lord, yes. She really shouldn't have had that piece of cheesecake before bedtime last night.
Hefe: You'd think by now that she'd realize that it goes straight to her ass.
Guiney: Exactly! But that's not the worst of it, don't you think she could remember to wash her face every night before she goes to bed? I mean, that's how crow's feet get their start! Besides, I'm getting really tired of looking at her mascara smeared face when she feeds us in the morning.
Hefe: That's nothing! How about on the weekends when she doesn't shower until the afternoon and then wants to get in our faces and tell us what cute kitties we are! It's like, "Whoa, lady, we'd like to introduce you to Lever 2000 and maybe a little Crest wouldn't be out of line...because your breath could kill a horse!"
Guiney: True! I hate it even more when she does that stupid thing she calls 'Yoda Kitty.' It was cute the first 5,000 times, but it's just old now. And don't even get me started on that damn Kitty Disco song she sings and makes you dance to. Although, you do have some moves...
Hefe: Ugh! I hate the Kitty Disco song!!
Guiney: Man, she's really weird. But then again, we do have it pretty sweet. I mean, other cats have to live outside!! And she lets us play with her notes when she's trying to study. Remember that one time you laid across that big notebook and she launched you two feet in the air?
Hefe: Heh, yeah! That was cool. I've got an idea, before we take a nap, let's track kitty litter all through the house and throw up hairballs on her new duvet cover, you know how much she loves that!!
Or it could be that I'm just paranoid.
posted by kcterrilynn at 7:41 AM
4 Comments:
Ha! I love it. Those naughty cats. LOL.
LOL!! That's awesome and incredibly funny. I can only imagine what my cat thinks of me. hehe
Hehe...funny conversation. But just another reason I should not have any pets! (other than my fish - they're stuck in their tank in the living room! LOL :o)
This one makes me glad I just have a dog. I don't think he pays all that much attention to me. He is more worried about licking his unmentionables. If human men could do that, we'd never leave the house! (OK...maybe that is a little gross)
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