Ugly Tighty Whitey Guy
You know how on Friends, Monica and Rachel lived across the way from 'Ugly Naked Guy'? I live across from 'Ugly Tighty Whitey Guy.' No shit. It doesn't seem to matter what time of day or season, UTWG is there, in all of his glory.
When he first moved in, it wasn't such a big deal, he had his furniture arranged so the sofa faced away from the patio and although I thought it was strange, little did I know that before long I would miss looking at the back of the sofa. About two months ago, he rearranged the furniture and YOWZA! The man never closes his blinds. It's very disturbing. He watches TV in is Tighty Whiteys. He eats in his Tighty Whiteys. And Lord, my eyes! I've seen him exercise in his Tighty Whiteys! Now, I'm sure you're wondering, why don't you close your blinds, kcterrilynn? Well, I'll tell you...I don't have blinds, but opaque curtains that are sheer enough to just let you make out what is going on across the way.
I'd leave an anonymous note, but since I'm the only one who can see his place, I'm sure he'd figure out that it's me. Besides, what would I say? "Dear Ugly Tighty Whitey Guy, Please stop walking around in your tighty whiteys." Scary thought, what if he does stop, and truly becomes Ugly Naked Guy? Guess I could always write a sitcom around it and become filthy rich...
When he first moved in, it wasn't such a big deal, he had his furniture arranged so the sofa faced away from the patio and although I thought it was strange, little did I know that before long I would miss looking at the back of the sofa. About two months ago, he rearranged the furniture and YOWZA! The man never closes his blinds. It's very disturbing. He watches TV in is Tighty Whiteys. He eats in his Tighty Whiteys. And Lord, my eyes! I've seen him exercise in his Tighty Whiteys! Now, I'm sure you're wondering, why don't you close your blinds, kcterrilynn? Well, I'll tell you...I don't have blinds, but opaque curtains that are sheer enough to just let you make out what is going on across the way.
I'd leave an anonymous note, but since I'm the only one who can see his place, I'm sure he'd figure out that it's me. Besides, what would I say? "Dear Ugly Tighty Whitey Guy, Please stop walking around in your tighty whiteys." Scary thought, what if he does stop, and truly becomes Ugly Naked Guy? Guess I could always write a sitcom around it and become filthy rich...
posted by kcterrilynn at 7:32 AM
8 Comments:
i cannot even begin to imagine what all my neighbors think of me. lol.
that is pretty weird. i think you should get hammered then walk over and bang on his door and tell him to put some pants on.
ps- if you write a sitcom can you make a character for me to play?
Please Carl...you'd be the star, babe. :)
Do you think maybe he likes you to see him in all his ugly glory? Ewwwwww I'm glad I can't see in anyone's house from mine.
You know, when I lived in NYC I saw some pretty disturbing things out my window...
- A naked couple chasing each other around their apartment.
- A naked couple hanging out.
- A naked handicapped lady in her kitchen.
- Two crack whores beating each other up on a Sunday morning.
Yes. New York City. I miss it.
LOL! That's just gross.
jim- hmmm, okay, but were the crackwhores naked?
No. The crack whores had the decency to wear clothing as they beat each other up. ...good people.
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