Makes Perfect Sense...
I work with a bunch of medical professionals and one of them emailed this to me today and now everything makes perfect sense...
MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED
Q What does HMO stand for?
A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.
Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.
Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
A. No. Only those you need.
Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?
A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomachache. What should I do?
A. Poke yourself in the eye.
Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
A. You really shouldn't do that.
Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?
A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.
Q. Will health care be different in the next decade?
A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.
posted by kcterrilynn at 11:20 AM
4 Comments:
Funny, but sad. And seriously, these answers are better than the ones in my Health Plan Benefits Packet! Where do I sign up???
do you think LJ will rush for 1,000 yards this season?
i think he may be regretting signing that long term deal.
Sis: really, just poke yourself in the eye...it's cheaper.
Carl: I'm not sure LJ is going to get 100 yards. They say it's because he skipped training camp and is still getting in shape but I think it's because he got his big payday and isn't trying to prove anything anymore. Sad, really.
Watched your J-E-T-S play last weekend...got a little nervous there at the end.
KC - This is a funny post but mainly funny in the I'll-puke-if-I-don't-laugh-cause-it's-true kinda way.
I still say people need to watch Logan's Run for a solution to our health care woes.
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