Battle of kcterrilynn's desk
(Still working on the vacation wrap-up...hey, cut me some slack, it was a very busy and drunken 10 days. There's a lot of debauchery to record.)
Anyway it seems there was some office mischief while I was gone. Several unruly stacks of invoices, service calls, contractor bids, tenant requests and budget items formed a nasty gang called The Papers and organized a coup to seize control of my desk. Mr. Potato Head, Magic 8-Ball and Red Grrr didn’t stand a chance. Tater Tot survived by hiding in a desk drawer with Post-its and Correction Tape. He’s still too traumatized to talk much about it.
Mo the Fighting Monkey and Polar Bear Pete saw most of it from Ficus Tree Forest (where they were exiled after an incident involving a six-pack of Wite Out, some loose Paper Clips and internet porn - we've agreed never to discuss it). The following is what I can piece together. In the beginning, The Papers mostly kept to themselves on one corner of the desk. Several days and several new piles later, a sleeper gang called Invoices forced Kaleidoscope Paperweight and Tigger Business Card Holder to flee the upper left corner for the safe sanctuary of the upper right corner. By Wednesday afternoon The Papers had invaded every inch of the desk and started to eye the credenza and computer desk. Three-Hole Punch tried to hold them off by launching multi-colored punch-outs at them, but being bombarded by tiny bits of Papers past seemed to only fuel their anger. Mr. Potato Head and Red jumped in to help, even after Magic 8-Ball told them ‘Outlook Not Good,’ but they felt they had to try anyway. It was a massacre. Mr. Potato Head lost an arm and one ear, Red lost his tag and Magic 8-Ball just repeats ‘Reply Hazy – Try Again Later’ over and over.
When I got back to the office Monday morning, The Papers were resistant to give up their stronghold right away. After three days of hard-core negotiations, The Papers where still holding strong on one strategic corner. When they refused to surrender, I was forced to bring in back-up: The Shredder. Once they saw I meant business, order was finally restored and every last Paper was banished. All is well. Except I think Tot might have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; I laid the mail on my desk this morning and he yelled “You’ll never take me alive, Papers!!!” while waving Letter Opener over his head. He might need some Tater therapy. Poor little Tot.
Anyway it seems there was some office mischief while I was gone. Several unruly stacks of invoices, service calls, contractor bids, tenant requests and budget items formed a nasty gang called The Papers and organized a coup to seize control of my desk. Mr. Potato Head, Magic 8-Ball and Red Grrr didn’t stand a chance. Tater Tot survived by hiding in a desk drawer with Post-its and Correction Tape. He’s still too traumatized to talk much about it.
Mo the Fighting Monkey and Polar Bear Pete saw most of it from Ficus Tree Forest (where they were exiled after an incident involving a six-pack of Wite Out, some loose Paper Clips and internet porn - we've agreed never to discuss it). The following is what I can piece together. In the beginning, The Papers mostly kept to themselves on one corner of the desk. Several days and several new piles later, a sleeper gang called Invoices forced Kaleidoscope Paperweight and Tigger Business Card Holder to flee the upper left corner for the safe sanctuary of the upper right corner. By Wednesday afternoon The Papers had invaded every inch of the desk and started to eye the credenza and computer desk. Three-Hole Punch tried to hold them off by launching multi-colored punch-outs at them, but being bombarded by tiny bits of Papers past seemed to only fuel their anger. Mr. Potato Head and Red jumped in to help, even after Magic 8-Ball told them ‘Outlook Not Good,’ but they felt they had to try anyway. It was a massacre. Mr. Potato Head lost an arm and one ear, Red lost his tag and Magic 8-Ball just repeats ‘Reply Hazy – Try Again Later’ over and over.
When I got back to the office Monday morning, The Papers were resistant to give up their stronghold right away. After three days of hard-core negotiations, The Papers where still holding strong on one strategic corner. When they refused to surrender, I was forced to bring in back-up: The Shredder. Once they saw I meant business, order was finally restored and every last Paper was banished. All is well. Except I think Tot might have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; I laid the mail on my desk this morning and he yelled “You’ll never take me alive, Papers!!!” while waving Letter Opener over his head. He might need some Tater therapy. Poor little Tot.
posted by kcterrilynn at 12:32 PM
8 Comments:
Posted at 1:32 this afternoon...and you get paid for this??? You are warped baby sis!!
Tot has Post-IT traumatic stress disorder.
wow...and i thought the stuff going on in Iraq was intense.
Kel- you say 'warped' like it's news to you...you've known me how long? Actually, I wrote it the night before at home and didn't get a chance to post it until the next afternoon.
Tiny- HA! Damn, I wish I'd thought of that. Of course, I think that about a lot of things you post, so that's nothing new. :)
Carl- Bin Laden and Al Queda ain't got nuthin' on The Papers, man. They're hardcore.
why do i actually feel sorry for tot? that was good...i had to read it twice to understand the battle plan. seems you have quite an assortment of articles there at your desk ms. kc. are you sure you're at work?? :)
Abq - yeah, poor Tot. I think he'll be okay. And I do have a lot of little toys on my desk and in my office. I even have a collection of rubber ducks that at my old job I'd put in the lobby fountain once in a while just for kicks. You gotta make your own fun sometimes.
Oh, you said rubber DUCKS, nevermind.
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