Getting old sucks. And blows.
In honor of my birthday this Friday, I received the following email:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony: YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He turned; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You become 21, you turn 30, then you're pushing 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You make it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you become 21, turn 30, push 40, reach 50 and make it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you hit 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you hit Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you hit lunch; you turn 4:30; you reach bedtime. But it doesn't end there, into your 90's, you start going backwards: "I was just 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."
Now, I'm nowhere near 100 and a half, but I am turning 37 and I'll be spending my birthday with a frozen dead guy (yes, a real frozen dead guy...details and pics to be posted on Monday), so obviously, things could be worse.
George Carlin's view on aging:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony: YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He turned; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? You become 21, you turn 30, then you're pushing 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You make it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you become 21, turn 30, push 40, reach 50 and make it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you hit 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you hit Wednesday! You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you hit lunch; you turn 4:30; you reach bedtime. But it doesn't end there, into your 90's, you start going backwards: "I was just 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half."
Now, I'm nowhere near 100 and a half, but I am turning 37 and I'll be spending my birthday with a frozen dead guy (yes, a real frozen dead guy...details and pics to be posted on Monday), so obviously, things could be worse.
posted by kcterrilynn at 12:07 PM
13 Comments:
I think I've gotten that email a time or two as well.
Cheers to you, Terri! I hope it's a great birthday...
Frozen dead guy and all.
Just be glad that you don't have vulva-what-ia. ;)
a frozen dead guy??? what the hell? details please!!!!!
I'm sure i'll be back for your bday but just in case, I hope you have a fantastic day!!
Happy early birthday. :)
I just turned 37. It's not so bad.
So far.
so how old will you be?
are you available for a birthday spanking?
forget my statement about how old you will be.
i'm slow.
Heather: George Carlin cracks me up.
Sweetheart: There's a festival in Nederland CO called 'Frozen Dead Guy Days.' And the deal is there is a guy who died about 10 years ago and wanted to be cyrogenically frozen but couldn't afford it, so 'Grandpa' (as he is known) is kept on dry ice in a Tuff Shed and every year they have a festival to raise money. I'm not kidding. They have look-a-like contests, tours of the Shed, lots of beer, and a parade. I'm totally looking forward to it. Gorgeous weather, Fat Tire beer, good friends and a frozen dead guy...it's gonna rock!!
Jason: Happy late birthday to you, sir. My friends tell me that it's 40 you've gotta watch out for. Ugh. How in the hell did I get to 'almost 40'? I swear, last year I was 25.
Carl: For you? Always. And you're not slow, you're just not as smart as the others, but I love you anyway.
Darn it, how can I surprise you by remembering your birthday (it's in my calendar, no lie!) if you announce it to the world?
Happy Birthday, DCTL.
Carl is slow. Especially on the football field.
Tiny: With you being you and all, I've no doubt that it is in your calendar. Sorry I ruined the surprise...bad DCTL!!
Tim: He certainly is 'short-bus special,' isn't he?
Happy Birthday and that stuff. Looks like others already beat me to the spankings?!
"Frozen Dead Guy?" I didn't know you knew my boss.
Hah!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WOO HOO. I'll have some drinks in your honor tonight. and tomorrow. and sunday.
go jayhawks!
Boring: There's always room for more spankers.
Spacks: Hey Sugar Beet! I'd like a Cap'n & Coke please. I'm very disturbed that the 'Hawks play today at 10:30(MST) and I'm going to miss it. In KC everybody took the afternoon off to watch the tourney, but CO teams suck so bad, no one cares here. Eh, doesn't matter really, the championship game isn't until Sunday. I'm going with KU vs Texas, with KU winning of course.
Happy Birthday. Maybe I'll join Carl in having a drink in your honor.
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