The Un-lived Life
This is a repost from 21 February 2006...sometimes I need to remind myself
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
I can't stop thinking about these words. They fascinate and enthrall me. I feel like I'm on the edge of something really huge, really important...if only to me. I can't put my finger on it right now, but it's there...looming.
As I get older, I realize that I don't have answers for anyone but myself. I'm not going to look for other people's answers or other people's truths any more. Nor will I accept their answers or truths as my own. It's every one for themselves.
Lately, I find myself caring less and less about my own desires and more about my contribution to the world. What is my purpose? What is my role? The only answer I have found is this: my life is my message.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
Life is made up of grand, sweeping gestures. Huge, load carrying moments: births, deaths, loves, betrayals, victories, defeats...but it is also made up of small, even inconsequential actions. Quiet, anonymous moments. And lately, I've realized that neither is more important than the other. Looking at my life, I thought, "Is this it?" And had an epiphany. Yes, this is it. This is all there is, this one life, this one haphazard collection of moments - big and small. This predetermined time that can slip through our fingers un-lived if we aren't careful.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
More often than not, we are the instruments of our own destruction and I refuse to be that any more. Because, this is all there is. My past is filled with big moments that have changed me for better and for worse, forever. There are also small moments that had a huge impact. Lately, it's the small moments I've been focusing on. I don't have any illusions about what I can and cannot do, what I am willing and not willing to do. I think the big moments simply come to you, usually without warning, and you're measured by how you react to them. You get the small moments to prepare. They're practice.
Let go of the things you regret, the moments you feel you failed. Let go of the things you use to bully or shame yourself into being a better person. That's the great thing about life - there always seems to be another chance. There's always another person, another job, another love, another moment when you can choose who you want to be and declare it to the world. We are able to constantly re-invent ourselves. The mistakes you made once upon a time don't have to follow you around for the rest of your life unless you want them to. The past has done just that - it has passed.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
And from here on, refuse to dwell in the darkness.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
I can't stop thinking about these words. They fascinate and enthrall me. I feel like I'm on the edge of something really huge, really important...if only to me. I can't put my finger on it right now, but it's there...looming.
As I get older, I realize that I don't have answers for anyone but myself. I'm not going to look for other people's answers or other people's truths any more. Nor will I accept their answers or truths as my own. It's every one for themselves.
Lately, I find myself caring less and less about my own desires and more about my contribution to the world. What is my purpose? What is my role? The only answer I have found is this: my life is my message.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
Life is made up of grand, sweeping gestures. Huge, load carrying moments: births, deaths, loves, betrayals, victories, defeats...but it is also made up of small, even inconsequential actions. Quiet, anonymous moments. And lately, I've realized that neither is more important than the other. Looking at my life, I thought, "Is this it?" And had an epiphany. Yes, this is it. This is all there is, this one life, this one haphazard collection of moments - big and small. This predetermined time that can slip through our fingers un-lived if we aren't careful.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
More often than not, we are the instruments of our own destruction and I refuse to be that any more. Because, this is all there is. My past is filled with big moments that have changed me for better and for worse, forever. There are also small moments that had a huge impact. Lately, it's the small moments I've been focusing on. I don't have any illusions about what I can and cannot do, what I am willing and not willing to do. I think the big moments simply come to you, usually without warning, and you're measured by how you react to them. You get the small moments to prepare. They're practice.
Let go of the things you regret, the moments you feel you failed. Let go of the things you use to bully or shame yourself into being a better person. That's the great thing about life - there always seems to be another chance. There's always another person, another job, another love, another moment when you can choose who you want to be and declare it to the world. We are able to constantly re-invent ourselves. The mistakes you made once upon a time don't have to follow you around for the rest of your life unless you want them to. The past has done just that - it has passed.
What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness...
And from here on, refuse to dwell in the darkness.
posted by kcterrilynn at 8:11 AM
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